And now you’ve grown up with this notion that you were to blame,
And you seem so strong sometimes, but I know that you still feel the same.
As that little girl who shined like an angel, even after his lazy heart put you through hell.
I wish you could see that.
Still you try to impress him, but he never will listen.
Oh broken angel, were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?
Oh broken angel, inside you’re dying ‘cause you can’t believe be would leave you alone, and leave you so cold.
And I promise that it’s not your fault, it was never your fault.
I’m not kidding, you need like, anger management or something.
You grabbed my arm so hard this morning when you were trying to wake me up that I have a bruise where you grabbed me.
That’s not fucking okay.
I understand getting frustrated, because I’m definitely not easy to wake up in the mornings, but that doesn’t give you any right to leave any kind of mark on my at all.
You apologized, and that’s great. I’m not holding any kind of grudge, oddly enough, but I’m not screwing around. Next time there’s a bruise or anything of that nature on me because of you, shit’s gonna hit the fan, because I’m not gonna just sit by and let it happen.
You used to be the parent I could count on, the one who protected me from this kind of stuff from my mom. And now it’s just the opposite. Her and I get along better, and now you just treat me like shit most of the time. I don’t know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, but it needs to stop.
I’m tired of being bitter and angry.
I want to forgive both of you, to put this behind me and just move on so maybe I can fix our friendship, and stop hating her.
But I just can’t.
You and I don’t talk, and I don’t want to initiate a conversation because I feel like I’m being annoying and clingy or obnoxious.
And I just don’t trust her. Not after what she did. I don’t trust her around my boyfriend, I don’t trust her talking to him, I don’t tell her anything personal, I just don’t have any trustworthiness left for her at all.
I don’t want to live like this, though.
I’m tired of being so mad all the time, and sad.
If I could just get past this, things would be better, right?
But I can’t. I am stuck in this fucking hole of bitterness and anger and hatred, and it’s tearing me apart.
A person isn’t supposed to keep this much inside. It eats away at a you. Just like it’s doing to me.
And I can’t do anything without facing some major issues and overdue arguments that I just don’t feel like having, and it’s just not worth it.
So I guess I’ll keep my mouth shut like always.
